Konya wa April Fools
by Cypher
Summary: Hang your head for shame. Tonight is April Fool's. Idiot! It's a lie! Jack's POV. Rated for slash, language.
1. Konya wa April Fools

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Konya wa April Fool's

By Cypher

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Bastard. Fucking bastard. And now he's ringing my doorbell. I know it's him. He always does the same thing. Knocks, rings the bell, knocks, rings the bell…wish he'd give the damn thing a rest. Growling, I get out of my chair and open the door, hating the fact that he's got a nervous grin, the same one puppies have after you've scolded them and now they're not sure how okay things are with you.

Damn, I'm wasted. And I'm in no mood to deal with that…that…that man! Growling again, I slam the door in his face and stalk back to the living room. Maybe he'll get the message and leave me alone. Maybe he'll realize I was swaying slightly because I'm drunk and go home. Maybe he'll see me in a few days at work and act like nothing happened.

"Jack?"

And maybe cows will sprout wings and fly--or is it pigs? Definitely wasted here. "Go away, Daniel!" I hear the door shut, but I know he's still in the hall, still standing there. Probably has that confused look, trying to figure out what's going on. I know that face. I know all of Daniel's faces, he's not exactly shy with his emotions. Probably why he got past my defenses.

"Jack, it was just a joke. An April Fool's joke. I don't see why it's such a big deal. You replaced all my artifacts with rocks, real rocks. It was a little revenge."

"You KISSED me!" I turn and glare at him, ignoring the fact that I momentarily overbalance and nearly fall over. "Right there! In front of the whole fuckin' commissary!" Not to mention he flirted with me heavily all day. I thought he was coming onto me, that he finally took notice of this old Colonel and wanted to upgrade our friendship to a relationship.

I thought he'd finally, FINALLY realized that I loved him, that I was IN love with him. Carter's got Pete, Teal'c's got that Jaffa woman…Ish-something. And Daniel has me. It wasn't rocket science. If it was, I wouldn't have figured out my feelings. And today I thought he'd figured out his as well.

But no. It was all a fuckin' joke. At MY expense. God, I need another drink. Without waiting for him to respond, I march into the kitchen and dig for that emergency bottle of scotch I know I've hidden in the cupboards.

Daniel, of course, follows me. "Why're you so worked up over a little joke, Jack? You pulled pranks all over the base, but the one time I pull a prank on you…" He goes quiet for a minute as I finally wrap my hands around the bottle and drag it out. "So you can dish it out but you can't take it yourself? Is that what this is about?"

"No it's NOT about that!" I don't bother with a glass. I just take a big swallow from the container. It takes me a few moments to realize I need to open the damn thing. Great, more material for Daniel to use against me.

He ignores the chance to tease me, though. "What's this about, Jack? It was a kiss, a little kiss."

It was NOT a little kiss. I slam the bottle on the counter and work on getting the cap off. He grabbed my head and forced his lips on mine. Not that I'm adverse to a little alpha behavior, but in front of half the base? I panicked…and everyone laughed, he laughed. He fuckin' laughed at me. Tossing the top aside, I try to drink again, and this time succeed.

I feel him move by my side, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Jack?"

Aw shit, what the hell. What's the worst he can do, report me? I'll just retire. Getting a bit old for field work anyway. "You wanna know what this is about, Danny?" I turn to him. "You REALLY wanna know? Well fine." This time I grab HIS head and kiss him. Hard.

He doesn't kiss me back. He shoves me away. He looks…mortified? Uncertain? Scared? I don't know. Too smashed to figure it out.

"I…you….we…."

"That's why, Danny." I spread my arms out, spilling some of the booze. "I love you."

"You're drunk." Pathetic way to deflect my comment. I just ignore the attempt.

"Fuckin' love ya, and you screw me over. Build me up with some hope and smash my feelings with the force of a sledgehammer. Bravo, Doctor Jackson. A perfect performance. Joke's on me, the laughing stock of the whole base. Hope you're happy."

He stares at me for a bit, and I wonder what he's thinking. Does he love me? Does hate me? Gonna beat the shit outta me--hey, even us Special Ops are vulnerable when drunk, and he's been working out with Teal'c. "So that, Daniel, is why. That's why I just up and left, face red and heart broken." I raise the bottle shakily. "Happy April Fool's." I take another swig and go back to staring at him.

A few minutes pass, then he comes over, grabs the bottle, and takes his own long drink, coughing as the rough liquid slides down his throat. "Love me, huh?"

"Yep." I reach for the bottle, but Daniel stubbornly keeps it out of my reach.

"This isn't a prank?"

"Do I look like I could pull a prank?" I mean, seriously. Drunk as a skunk here. Okay, so I've been known to fake it before, but still. And I'd never joke, not about this.

He stares at me for a moment, then sighs and sets the bottle down before putting his arm around my torso. "Come on, Jack. Let's get you to bed."

"M'not tired." Drunk, not tired.

"The sooner you sleep this off, the sooner we can talk."

I know that look. He's hoping I'll forget all this tomorrow, forget what I said, what I did, and just go on living. Fucking bastard. Joke's on him. I'm not going to forget this night. And tomorrow, I'm going to make sure he knows that. And then maybe he'll finally admit his feelings and we can fuck like bunnies.

Though from Danny's behavior, we probably won't. At least, not until cows fly.

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Author's Prattle: This is a fic that was inspired by a Ranma song, the lyrics of which can be found at I hope to one day finish it, but right now inspiration is focused on…a lot of other things. Keep your fingers crossed that the Creative Writing classes will get me going on it again.

Disclaimer. I don't own Stargate SG-1, its characters or settings. It belongs to MGM, Gekko Productions, SciFi channel, and a few others. I'm just borrowing their stuff in a creative exercise. I also don't own the Ranma song, Rumiko Takahashi owns Ranma and any of its derivative works.

As always, I hope you enjoyed the story, and reviews are welcome!


	2. Wakatte ita Hazu

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Wakatte ita Hazu

By Cypher

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"Hi, this is Daniel Jackson. You know what to do."

I let out a slow breath through my nose and hang up the phone. There wouldn't be any point in leaving a message, not with the other six on there. Maybe he's not there, maybe he's at the mountain…on a Saturday? No, he's probably just avoiding me.

Can't say I blame him.

I don't really remember much after he put me to bed. I do know when I fell asleep he was sitting near me. When I woke up, though…for a minute I thought it'd been a dream, a terrible nightmare and that none of it had happened. I knew it wasn't true, but after the night I'd had I thought I'd earned some delusion time.

Lying bastard didn't stay. That was my second thought. The instant I was asleep he bailed. Well, that's not entirely true. He cleaned up the living room and put the scotch away, then he bailed. No note, no message, no nothing. Now he's ducking me. My first message was loud, angry, and afterward I put a fist through the wall. I'll have to fix that before the next mission.

But I need to fix this first.

I should've just ignored it. Let it go as a prank and admitted nothing. So why did I? …because it's been so painful holding onto this secret. And Daniel…of everyone, I thought Daniel would understand. Aren't the geeks supposed to be the well-adjusted ones? The ones that will explore anything at least once? I'm the sexually repressed military asshole. I'm supposed to be angry and upset and ducking calls.

But it's not me. It's Daniel.

Damnit, why'd I fall in love with him of all people? Carter would've been easier to handle! I simply retire and bam, relationship. No fuss, no conflicting emotions, nothing complicated. Just a simple him and her thing. But oh no, the universe had to make me fall in love with that stubborn sonofabitch. And now I'm suffering because of it.

Well you know what? Screw this sitting around. He won't pick up the phone? Then I'll make him talk to me. He can't ignore me in person. He won't want me to make a scene outside his door. He'll have to let me in. And then we'll talk. I'd rather kiss him senseless, but from what I remember of last night…talk is the way to go.

Stuffing my hands in my pocket, I glance up at the sky. A bit overcast, but nothing bad. And Daniel's isn't that far to walk. Yeah, walk. I've still got a pretty big headache, and I need to figure out what I'm going to say to him. Should I barge in, yelling and demanding to know why he wasn't there? Why he said he'd stay to talk, and then up and bailed?

But if I do that, he'll clam up. He always does when he goes on the defensive. I don't want him to be defensive. I want him to talk to me, to realize that we're meant for each other, and that I'm serious about what I've said, that it wasn't some drunken declaration to piss him off or stun him. Problem is words aren't my thing. I may be past that whole sexual repression stuff, but I'm still an action man. Words are Daniel's skill. Me, I'm lucky if I can even find the right word to convey what I'm feeling.

A few pelts of rain hit me. No problem finding a word then. "Fuck." I pull the collar up on my jacket. Figures. I'm too far to go back to the house to get to my truck. On the plus side, this'll tug at Daniel's guilt strings. He won't want me to remain outside, soaking and cold. He'll want me to come in, to warm up. And he may not want to talk at first, but I'll get him there. I've always been good at getting Daniel to open up. At least, I used to be.

It takes me another thirty minutes to make it to Daniel's apartment, and I look up to his loft, unconsciously searching for him on the balcony. It's stupid, I know. It's raining--well, drizzling, but it's wet. Daniel wouldn't be outside.

Someone else is, though. I suck in a breath. It's Davis. Paul Davis. What the hell is he doing at Daniel's? Oh God, did he hear the messages? I'm dead. Really dead. I see him saying something over his shoulder, through the open door. He goes inside after listening to the reply. Me? I lean against the building and simply stare off into nothing.

Fuck. Now what, O'Neill? You go in, guns blazing? Telling Davis to take a hike and go all alpha on Daniel? That's a sure-fire way for a one-way trip to a jail cell. But if I show up like this, what's he going to think? After those messages, he must know how I feel about Daniel, about the situation.

And then it hits me. Davis is in Daniel's apartment, on a Saturday afternoon, in casual clothes. It's not official business, it's not because Daniel called him regarding my behavior…it's because they have plans. Davis is seeing Daniel…casually.

Shit. Fuck fuckity fuck! You're an idiot, O'Neill! A fucking idiot! I turn and storm off, back towards my house. How could I have been so stupid? A man like Daniel, of course someone would grab him, be it a woman or man. And it has to be Davis of all people!

…and maybe it's for the best. I mean, what would Daniel want with someone like me? Old, gray hair, bad knees…Davis is more like him. Younger, into museums, history…words. Twice the fool, Colonel. That's what you are. For admitting your feelings to Daniel, and then for thinking he'd ever reciprocate them.

Twice a fool, who can't stop thinking about him, can't stop loving him. I should've known it would hurt this much. This is the price for loving someone who doesn't know. It's a pain I'll have to live with…forever. I love Daniel, and that's never going to change.

I just wish he could love me back.

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Author's Prattle: This is the second part of the April Fool's series. It could be the final part, but I'm thinking I will continue it. Part of the problem is that I have to find a song that fits the mood, and inspires me to write. Unfortunately, nothing's come along…yet. Maybe if I can get that night job something'll come to me in the early hours of the morning…

Disclaimer. I don't own any aspect of Stargate SG-1. It belongs to MGM, Secret/Gekko Productions, and SciFi channel. I also don't own this song from Fushigi Yugi, which belongs to Yu Watase and is sung by Akemi Satou.

As always, reviews are welcome, and I hope you enjoyed!


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